Christmas Joy and Sadness

Christmas may be a time when you get together with family and friends. If you have lost someone significant whom you loved particularly in the past year, you will be reminded that they are not around.  The loss may be through a death, a divorce or some other loss experience. This may be hard for you and everyone reacts differently to this.  It may mean that it causes people to react more sensitively to things that are said and done.  
Everyone has their own way of coping.  It is important to look after yourself and find your own way of getting through the hard times. 
Here are some ideas that may help you to better manage the Christmas holiday celebrations .

Allow yourself to feel sad 
At times like Christmas when families frequently get together it reminds us of the loved one(s) missing from the Christmas table this year. It is normal to feel sad that they are not with you. It may help you to take time out, to remember the person you love. 

You may want to: 
• Find a  quiet spot to remember all the good things about that person 
• Go and do something you used to enjoy together 
• Revisit favourites spots you both enjoyed 
• Share the memories with family and friends 

It’s OK to enjoy yourself 
It may feel hard to celebrate when you are grieving someone you love. It is not 
uncommon to have a whole lot of different feelings such as sadness, guilt or excitement. 
Getting together with family and friends is an opportunity to share the good times and it’s ok to relax and have a good laugh. Laughter is a good medicine. Having fun is not a sign that you grieve the missing person any less. 

Look after yourself 
Remembering that this may be a tough time for you is important. This may mean you might need to treat yourself with a bit of extra care. Avoid making major decisions over Christmas, and treat yourself to something you enjoy doing. 
Talk to someone 
Have someone you trust to talk about how you are feeling. If there isn’t a family member or friend around remember the EAP service is a 24 hour service so give us a call. 

Avoid bottling it up 
Getting stuff off your chest is important.  Keeping things to yourself may mean the stress and tension builds up. Finding a way to get out what you feel will help you to lessen the stress. 
On the other hand with all celebratory drinks that are offered in the Christmas season it is good to limit the amount of alcohol you consume. This is where you keep the lid on the bottle.